Inspiration, My Journey

A Miracle Restores Hope

With under 2 weeks until my due date for belly bub, I thought I would share my second pregnancy journey (in a nutshell)…

What I had deemed ‘the impossible’ happened a week before Christmas last year… I was preparing our breakfast one morning and noticed this unusual back pain. I figured it was just my poor posture and constant lifting and carrying of a toddler. A trip to the bathroom proved me wrong… now to understand the enormity of this, I had not had a ‘natural’ cycle since I was a teenager (and I was 31 at the time). The fertility specialist told me, that while’ strange things happen’, I shouldn’t hang my hopes on seeing the return of a natural menstrual cycle to conceive our second child. Well 2 natural cycles later and a return trip to see the specialist, affirmed her earlier statement and she essentially told me I was ‘fixed’… it was just a matter of waiting. Little did I know I was actually pregnant at the time.

It wasn’t until 8 weeks after my second period that I got the positive test only hours before I got on a plane to fly to Adelaide for a work commitment. My cycle was very irregular due to breastfeeding and having never had 2 consecutive un-medicated cycles before, I had no idea what my ‘normal’ was, with anywhere from 21-42 days being considered a typical length for a regular menstrual cycle. Two lovely experienced mothers had told me only a few months prior to aunt flow returning, wait a few months after night weaning and see what happens… their words sort of gave me hope that just maybe it would be true for me, and despite my doubts both women were so very right.

I was in the midst of a very stressful circumstance at work so I attributed my ‘morning sickness’ symptoms and extreme emotional vulnerability to that, as a pregnancy test at 5 weeks was negative. Well the ‘just in case’ pregnancy test at 8 weeks before I went to the Adelaide Hills wine region had me rather shocked, although I suspected I was at least 2 weeks behind my LMP dates based on when I started feeling unwell my first pregnancy. A dating scan a few weeks later confirmed my suspicions, kind of amazing how us women just kind of ‘know’ where things are at.

Well here I am nearing the end of my second pregnancy. With the end fast approaching, it is so easily to forget and dismiss the incredible and unlikely beginnings of this journey. It has been a saving grace for me on many levels, both in increasing my faith seeing a very long-term answer to prayer, but also providing an eventual way out of a professional circumstance that I was so close to giving up on.

A second pregnancy has presented many more challenges than the first… Trying to parent a toddler (who decided to drop her daytime nap only a week after discovering I was pregnant), juggle part-time work commitments as mother, and essentially having no down-time to recollect your thoughts and feelings as the pregnancy progresses. Whilst I am much more relaxed about several things (admittedly I have eaten soft cheeses and even helped myself to a sip of my husband’s glass of wine), I am much more anxious about how everything will eventually unfold. Perhaps it is because I didn’t get the birth I anticipated last time, and navigating the hospital system to have a vaginal birth after caesarean (VBAC) is a research project in itself with so much red tape. I also now know firsthand what it is like to be the parent of a beautiful healthy child, when the return to work over a year ago presented me with the reality of things not always going to plan. Then again, this pregnancy never started off the way I anticipated.

This has been a mish-mash outpouring of my life over the past 9 months, and by no means coherent with preggy brain reaching its peak. But it has been invaluable to be able to sit down for a few hours and recollect the journey that this time has been. The countdown to parenting a newborn and toddler is now on, but it is a phase it my life I cannot wait to welcome (even though my 2 year old is already showing her disapproval of ‘tummy house’). Anticipating being the parent of two already has me reassessing so many areas of my life, as the past 12 months has taught me what really matters – faith, family, friends and my sanity (more thoughts on that later).